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I haven't had a Guinness session for ages. How much is it in your local? I think it's £3.70 in mine. It's probably cheaper in Wetherspoons but I hardly go in there these days. Sometimes I'll go in for a cheap breakfast because it's cheaper than buying bacon and sausages when I don't have them in the house. They don't do black pudding though. The cunts. The number of people on pints at that time in the morning astounds me. I feel like the shifty fucker for not having a pint. I was once in there ordering a breakfast at about 9:30 and someone was at the bar ordering a large brandy   I have to keep checking to make sure I haven't somehow teleported into an airport departure lounge.

There's a lot of Greene King stuff around here, so IPA is the fallback for me. That's £3 a pint. There's Abbot as well which produces a particular aroma of fart that seems to have a knack for sticking around in the same place well after being dealt. The landlord has been trying various beers from the Wolf Brewery who are fairly local to here (Norfolk). That's £3.40, and Timmy Taylor's Landlord is £3.70 when it's on. I still reckon that's one of the finest ales ever produced even if it does soak you to fuck the first few times you tap a keg of it.

Recently I've been into London style porters. When I say recently I mean for the past 5 years or so - if I see a porter on draught I'll order one. I got a homebrew kit from a shop just outside Chester a couple of years ago for a London Porter - all extract, no sugar to add, with a dry hop bag for aroma. That turned out quite nice when I made it.

Oh yeah I brew at home. I make ALE and I add fucking hops to it and still call it ALE. I'm saying that just in case some blowhard gobshite happens to look by who thinks the definition of ale is still unhopped.

Guinness is anything from £3.10 in the spoons to £4.70 in some pubs in the area. It’s £4.20 in my local only £3.50 in the football club when I go to watch the local team play or maybe there is a do on. Had my 50th birthday in there didn’t end well but was fun at the time. The pub I usually drink in does Doombar and Youngs for £3.70; lagers range from £4.00 to £4.20 depending on brand. Oh yes John Smiths £3.50 and a bottle of Newcastle Brown £3.90. Prices are competitive for a local boozer in this area and the pub is opposite my house.